The word of God says life and death, blessings and cursing’s are in the power of the tongue. Let me tell you a story that solidifies the word of God.
I’m in my late forties and have always masked that I was a very confident person especially about my appearance. This story begins all the way back to junior high school. I was teased and made fun of
unmercifully about the way I looked. I didn’t have much of a chin and endured numerous name calling such as frog…no chin etc…. Sometimes kids can be vicious and so hurtful. This continued through high school. It made me very self-conscious and at times a pretty tough guy. There were a few guys that sported some battle scars. However, the enemy had begun to use this to create a deep root of rejection in me that would remain for more than thirty years.
Somewhere around twenty years old I grew a beard and moustache. It was wonderful! It hid my rejection. I became popular with my circle of friends and girls started to notice me. Life was good. I had Mr.Frog covered up.
I have always had the call of God on my life from an early age. Let’s fast forward . About Three years ago I began to feel something different in my spirit. It was a quickening that I must go deeper in the Lord. It was an accountability that I had never felt. After being prompted by the Holy Spirit, I left my church and began my “New Life” at Kingdom Life Ministries. It wasn’t long before God revealed my true destiny, the thing I had always knew was there but did not understand. It all became clear…I am the Evangelist in the five fold ministry at KLM. Easy right? Not so much! Ever heard of Gal 2:20? I am crucified in Christ and it is no longer I that live but Christ that lives in me. The word Crucify means to die. What’s dying you ask? “My Flesh” or simply stated my will. The word says do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. This is the process the Lord has me in. Too many ministers never go through the process of sanctification therefore what’s going out to their sheep is not pure.
A few weeks ago after our usual Saturday night service we were all hugging and saying our goodbyes when my Apostle Gene Hall pulled me close and whispered in my ear, “When are you going to shave that beard and moustache”? I was shocked! I said, “Why did you say that?” He softly responded, “I didn’t”. I was sent into a complete tailspin . I immediately gathered my things and my wife and ran out the door. As I cranked my vehicle up my spirit exploded inside me, the thing I had hidden had been brought to light. I could not speak. Page, my beautiful wife repeatedly was asking me all the way home….honey what’s wrong? It felt like a water melon in my throat. I simply could not speak. After one whisper, I had been thrust all the back to Junior High. The next day Page and I ate lunch at a little café near the beach. I was trying to be pleasant however my mind was racing for I now knew what God was up to. Page the princess she is said, ” Thank you for spending time with me today but you are a million miles away”. Suddenly that water melon appeared again. I had to tell her but could not bring myself to do so.
God works in mysterious ways! That Monday Page informed me she was going to visit her parents and would return on Thursday. Here is the mysterious way God works. Now I was alone in the house, right where the Lord wanted me with no interruptions. I began to worship. I cried out, Father…… I can’t do this. THIS IS TOO PAINFUL!! DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND THE WAY I FEEL? All the time knowing deep in my spirit that the great “ I AM” was working. I made it to Wednesday hoping God would change his mind and I was trying to avoid thinking about it. Ask me how that worked for me? NOT TO GOOD.
Wednesday night we had a scheduled ministry meeting. As we finished the Lords business brother Gene began to teach. The word of God became intense. Suddenly, his eyes locked with mine and it
was as if nobody else was in the room and Jesus was speaking directly to me. The Lord said, you must get it right, be obedient. I don’t think all in the room understood what was happening but I sure did! I
began to sweat like a mule. After we adjourned I knew what I had to do however the pain I felt was overwhelming. I immediately went home and I spent the next four hours in worship. I agonized before
the Lord. I even said what Jesus said…Please let this cup pass from me. Father, I love you, leave my hair alone!! I wish I could tell you by the end of the fourth hour I it was all good. My loving father who is
loooong suffering, patient and all knowing just let me wear my flesh completely out. I literally worshipped my flesh into the obedience of the Lord Jesus Christ.
Thursday morning arrived and something was different. What is this I asked myself. There was a new resolve for I recognized that the GRACE of my Lord and Savior had arrived. I began to understand that God was not trying to take something from me, he was trying to get something to me. What you ask? Freedom from the root of rejection that began all the way back in junior high. The Lord said, how could you minister my deliverance and freedom when you were suffering it as well.
I told the Lord that I had to wait till Page got home before I shaved. It was the first time all week the Lord actually agreed with anything I had to say! Page arrived home Thursday night and I told her the whole story. I wept. It was the first time I had shared this story with anyone. I love this woman, she was completely supportive. Please understand, my wife has never seen my face. Neither has any of my
children. Needless to say there was a little anxiety flowing.
Friday morning came and as I watched the morning news every razor commercial that has ever been made was aired. I looked at my wife and headed to the bathroom. It took a few minutes and when I was finished I was scared to look. When I finally looked in the mirror I saw my face for the first time in thirty years. That very moment a sense of humility came over me such as I have never experienced. I felt God’s love and approval. I walked out of my house that day with an overwhelming sense of love and compassion.
Too many ministers never go through the process of sanctification therefore what’s going out to their sheep is not pure.